A survey has found that most Indians don't trust survey results. And why so? The survey is conducted by wet-behind-the-ears youths who glibly state they have selected you to take part in the survey. This is exactly what happened to Mr. Nobody. "Who owns you?" Was the opening question. "M-my family owns me". Nobody stammered, "I had my mother's name on a tag on my leg when they put me in the incubator" "Are you still owned by your family?" Silence. Then, a confession. "N-not any more. I married a girl from another community and was disowned by my father in a newspaper advert fifteen years ago." "Who else owned you?" "My school. It enslaved me. Laid down what I wore, what I wrote and read, how fast I ran, how high I jumped. It decided if both or one ear would be boxed, which hand or leg would be caned." "What about college?. Didn't it own you too?" "T-that was far better. The college didn't care a fig what I wore, the length of my hair, the .appropriateness of my lyrics, my absence from class,my love interests." "And after that .?" "The usual. I began to be owned by my wife. Have to take out the trash, pay the bills, mend the fuse. Then there is joint ownership of me between wife and kids. My kids make me buy them expensive gizmos, do their homework, order Chinese whenever they feel like it." "Who else now owns you?" "I-I almost forgot. My corporation owns me. Have to turn up for sixty hour work weeks in a suit and tie. We are boxed in like cattle in a corral: CCTVs catch on even if you so much as doodle on a pad." '"Alright Mr Nobody, thanks for your answers. But you are missing an important point. Doesn't the government own you?" Mr Nobody gave a beatific smile. "Of course not. I voted for the government. Don't you see, I own the government!"

Indrani Raimedhi