The chatterati was agog with excitement. Especially the couples trapped in loveless marriages. Someone was coming their way. A handsome, salt and pepper haired, immaculately attired, Oxbridge-accented celebrity. In the permissive metros, they called him the Love Guru. In the uptight, cautious city of Guwahati, he was packaged by the organisers as the relationship expert.

So there he was at the Town Club, using Powerpoint presentation to display the myriad moods of him and her, caught up in a tantalising tango of love, desire, envy, possessiveness, indifference and betrayal. As a roomful of couples drank in every word Love Guru held forth with charm and persuasion.

"Look at it this way. A relationship is alive and ongoing, a story you are writing together, a deepening of your connection. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. Try to make the love between couples mysterious, novel and unexpected. See your married lives as ripe with possibilities and I promise you a lifetime of youth, love and passion. Don't look for new landscapes, but seek new eyes."

"I have a question here," a shrill voice called out from the back. "What did you mean when you said love is an exercise in selective perception?"

"Its simple Ma'am," he said smoothly. "It's unrealistic to love everything about your mate. You may love his kindness, his goofy jokes, his helping around the house but his Kishore Kumar songs sung off key drives you nuts. So what do you do? Focus on the positives."

There was thunderous applause. More questions were asked and answered. Love Guru began consulting his watch. His flight was just an hour hence.

In a few minutes, the relationship expert bowed and made his exit. The audience was upset. A few men cornered the organisers, complaining they had not got their money's worth. Things got nasty. Exasperated, an organiser blurted out. "Try to understand. The Love Guru has a court hearing tomorrow. His divorce case, you see."


Indrani Raimedhi